Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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