tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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