STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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