Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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