Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize