Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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