Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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