I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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