So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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