...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize