Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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