Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize