Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize