I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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