please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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