So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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