I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize