Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize