youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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