I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize