I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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