You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
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It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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