shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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