I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize