There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize