Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize