We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
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You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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