mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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