he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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