I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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