How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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