I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
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Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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