She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize