y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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