And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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