Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My hand turned me down
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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