as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
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Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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