Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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