I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All I want is dick and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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