mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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