Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize