Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize