Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize