My girlfriend figured out who you are.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize