She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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