You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My bed smells like the plague
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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