How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize