Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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