And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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