I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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